Fake Tan Test: St Moriz

Tanning product:

St Moriz Instant Self Tanning Lotion

Price:

£4.99 p/200ml + mitt £2.50

Consistency:

St. Moriz Instant TanningA lotion type potion, sticky to the touch and deadly to one’s carpet (my carpet looks like Henri Matisse’s paint palette after he went blind). A handy pump bottle and mitt are all you’ll need to begin the St Moriz treatment; which really is quite simple. Many products like to boast their individuality by having you enact all sorts of bizarre contortions during application, but the lovingly simplistic folk at St Moriz simply tell you to pump, rub and glow. This is exactly what I did.

Hair factor:

The biggest failure of this product is its inability to cope with my manly bush (chest hair). St Moriz goes weak at the knees, sequels and flakes off at the site of body hair which is not helpful if one has a little extra insulation upon their body. Judging by the outcome of the tan upon my lighter forestry, this tan is one for the girls and those prone to waxing.

Streak factor:

Not great for bushy brothersStreaks, what streaks? Perhaps I’m becoming a fake tan expert or this product really is that simple. A handy hint is inscribed on the bottle for avoiding elbow and knee streaks (which between you and me can happen to those with extra surface area). By bending the knee and elbow during application you can ensure that St Moriz will be pasted in every nook, cranny and fold.

Aroma:

As many will know, I am no stranger to a fake tan pasting and so I have, over the years, got used to the faint smell of bread dough upon my skin. St Moriz, however, is a little more stinky than I expected. As the tan is an instant product no excess gets washed off in a shower, which means you’ll stink for the duration of your tan.

Longevity:

Beacon on a budgetAn instantaneous application for instantaneous results, that washes off instantaneously. Don’t expect miracles from this Saint.

 Tan out of ten?

There is only room for one St. in my bathroom cupboard, and Moriz aint it.

Jordan runs Manchester fashion blog www.fashionrambler.com

Follow Jordan on Twitter @jordanjmcdowell