Powerplate tested

In about 1997, I read an article in a teen magazine which stated that if your bum wobbles when you clean your teeth, you really need to tone up. Switching to an electric toothbrush is, I suppose, an alternative option along with brushing your teeth with less vigour.

Isn't it, um, quite obvious that if eight women are sat on what are essentially the most effective vibrators in the land, something's going to happen?

Bum exercises are generally a real pain in the arse (groan) as they are tedious and seem to yield little or no results. Swimming and running obviously help but there isn't really a quick fix for your bum or other 'problem areas.'

That was until a couple of years ago when a 'premium vibration device' called Powerplate was made famous by Kylie Minogue and Madonna. It's really simple – all you do is stick this thing up your bum and almost instantly, it is transformed from sack of carbs to pert peach. Okay, the Powerplate is not a vibrating exercise pessary. But it would be funny if it was.

The Powerplate looks like a sort of futuristic lectern that vibrates intensely. You can stand, squat, lunge on it and create a workout based around its technology. I went along to a session at the Virgin Active gym on Deansgate and learnt a little bit more about how it works. The Powerplate's vibrations cause your muscles to contract between 30 and 40 times per second. So, in a way, you are working your muscles 30-40 times harder with everything you do. The results of your workout operate on similar lines. So after a week, you'll probably be able to see and feel a difference in your body tone.

Last year I used the Powerplate about three times a week and it definitely created definition and sculpted my arms, tummy, legs and bum. It is important to follow a routine though rather than an arbitrary collection of squats and a few sit-ups, so it is worthwhile getting a gym instructor to go through some relevant exercises with you. It's best to use in conjunction with other exercise too, especially cardio if you are trying to improve fitness and/or lose weight.

According to the Powerplate website, it can also improve your body's circulation, strength and flexibility. I'm not sure about the first two but certainly, flexibility is improved instantly. Our gym instructor conducted a little test as a warm up in which he asked us to touch our toes. We all managed it but then he got us to do the same on the Powerplate whilst it was vibrating at 30 times a second. He encouraged us to reach into the stretch, as you would in a yoga class and we did this for just one minute. We then got off the machine and touched our toes again. The improvement was quite remarkable; I could reach about four if not five inches further.

Certain exercises made my head vibrate in a weird way which required me to shift position or, in one instance, just do an entirely different exercise. I'm not sure how dangerous it is for one's head to vibrate at 40 times per second but it felt a bit like my skull was going to crack and my brain was going to vibrate out of my eyes.

Talking on the Powerplate is strange as well. You sound like you're on a bike jiggling down a cobbled hill. Another thing to beware of is how in certain positions, you may feel like your teeth are going to crumble. At one point in the workout, we had to hold a plank position, resting our arms on the base of the Powerplate. This exercise is fairly demanding, even without the mega vibes, and usually causes me to grit my teeth. I had to shift my arms and do a standard press-up instead, to save my molars.

Undoubtedly, there is an embarrassment factor which may bother more neurotic gym users. In a class I attended last year, the female instructor got us to sit on the Powerplate with our legs apart in order to ease our hamstrings. This was part of the cool-down 'relaxation' at the end of the session, which is all well and good, but it felt a bit like a thinly veiled attempt at mutual orgasm on the part of the instructor. Surely it's not just me, but isn't it, um, quite obvious that if eight women are sat on what are essentially the most effective vibrators in the land, something's going to happen? Was the ghost of Jeremy Beadle going to seep out of the air conditioning unit, disguise himself as a fly on the wall, and then laugh at our simultaneous sexual delight?

It's totally stupid to get embarrassed at the gym though – there are way more humiliating machines in there. Indeed, the whole gym experience is generally quite shameful given the vanity factor it incorporates. I suppose you just have to get your head down and get on with it. If you are too embarrassed to use the gym however, you can buy a Powerplate for your home but they cost £800 and will probably take up a lot of room. I'm not sure you will achieve quite the same effects doing squats on the washer. No matter how intensive your spin cycle.

For more information go to www.powerplate.com or ask at your local gym.