Can you mix love and work?

Celebrity couples make big headlines, especially when their relationships fail. With a number of A-List couples separating recently - Kate Winslet and Sam Mendes and Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon - is it proof that working together, or even just working in the same industry can turn a relationship sour?

When working in the same industry or together, you are sharing the same daily stresses and may not be able to offer an outside view on problems and situations that arise. This can even add more stress in the relationship itself.

When working in the same industry or together, you are sharing the same daily stresses and may not be able to offer an outside view on problems and situations that arise. This can even add more stress in the relationship itself.

The showbiz couples that have hit the headlines with their relationship breakdowns recently, all work within the film industry – a notoriously intense, highly demanding and tough environment with long working hours.

Everyone knows someone who met his or her spouse while working for the same company, and these are the success stories representative of what could happen with that special person who catches your eye. Just remember that like the world outside of work, the rules of sound dating apply: compatibility and chemistry are king, so make sure the good relationship basics are there.

Whether you are dating or married to someone in your workplace or even thinking of doing so, here are some important things to keep in mind:

For new workplace relationships:
It’s a good idea to talk clearly beforehand with your potential partner about the implications of where it could go before things get too serious between you since there are risks involved in the workplace. Put your hormones on hold and consciously decide to take things slowly. Your chances of finding lasting love inside of your company’s walls are about equal to a relationship forged outside of them. However, at the risk of losing your credibility, your heart, and even your job, only you can assess whether that spark in your eye and excitement in your imagination is worth the risk associated with becoming romantically involved with a co-worker.

Work/life balance:
Managing massive careers is one thing but your must also find time to be a couple. Although it’s reasonable to prioritize your career, especially if it is booming, dedicating time to your partnership is also crucial. If not, you risk sending the message that your role at the workplace is more important than that of a partner. Demanding careers can be challenging, but a strong support system is necessary to keep you grounded. Relationships can easily fall apart when plagued with 18-hour days at the office. Instead, work together to establish regular, uninterrupted time together to share, encourage and relax. A strong communicative relationship forges a solid foundation to lean on when you are apart.

Ego:
If you both have successful careers, particularly in similar businesses, at some stage one of you may experience ego struggles. This can incite competitiveness or even jealousy. As a couple, you learn the power seesaw of individual successes and failures, sometimes allowing one person to shine while you take the back seat. Try to separate the job from the person, allowing you to be proud of your sweetheart’s accomplishments, and maybe even inspiring you with the same gusto. If you find yourself competing for the spotlight, and pushing your beloved to the dark, it may be a sign that you are more invested in recognition than you are in the relationship.

Shared interests outside of work:
As well as having a shared interest in the working industry that you are both a part of, it’s incredibly important to have a common interest outside of the workplace. Shared interests increase understanding between partners, which is critical to a couple developing and maintaining intimacy.

A relationship requires more than just love:
Love in itself is not sturdy enough to support a couple when they inevitably run into difficulties. Whilst love is very much the foundations on which a relationship is formed, a couple need to be compatible in other key dimensions to be able to deal with the ups and downs in life, for example, ambition, conflict management, communication, etc.

Dr Gian Gonzaga is a senior research scientist for www.eHarmony.co.uk and a world renowned expert in the field of compatibility, relationships and marriage.