Reconnect With Yourself In 2012

OVER the past couple of years, Body Confidential has featured several staff members who’ve overhauled their diets and shaped up. Following in their footsteps, I’m embarking on a similar mission – except mine has nothing to do with losing weight, getting in shape, or giving anything up. Nope. What I’ve resolved to do is re-establish a conscious and loving connection with what matters most – myself.

When it comes to losing weight and getting in shape, for example, it’s senseless subjecting yourself to a punishing exercise regime unless you’ve first examined your relationship with your body.

In my work as a mentor (personal transformation), I learnt from the get-go that lifestyle changes were pointless unless folk first knew – and consciously explored – their underlying motivations.

When it comes to losing weight and getting in shape, for example, it’s senseless subjecting yourself to a punishing exercise regime unless you’ve first examined your relationship with your body. And I’m not talking some tick-box questionnaire either – I mean a thorough, honest exploration of the reasons underlying your reasons for change.

It’s one thing to beast your body thrice-weekly in a spinning class; it’s quite another to approach it with reverence, patience, and compassion; nurture and nourish it; cherish it as you would a beloved pet (many of us treat our pets better than we do our own bodies).

How many of us, after all, can honestly say we love our bodies flesh through bone? And I mean unconditional, all-embracing, accept-them-as-they-are-right-now? In my work I’m increasingly seeing women who are so disconnected from their bodies, so cut off from the neck down, they can barely stand to touch themselves – and not in a sexual or pleasure-oriented way either.

Reconnect With Your Body

I mean doing something as simple as a healing thigh or breast massage. But because they can’t stand to touch themselves with love and acceptance, they don’t know how to open up and be vulnerable with their partners. In fact, their shame, self-loathing, and fear is so deep-rooted they can barely find the words to voice it, if at all.

I love bodies. I don’t care about their shape or size; they’re all magnificent and beautiful to me. I love men’s bodies for their polarity, their ‘otherness’ and women for the physical characteristics I share with them. I wasn’t always like this though. For most of my adult life, I’ve been unable to let it all hang out in a stark bollocky-buff way in front of other women, let alone a boyfriend. It was only after stumbling onto a Tantric path at the start of last year I was finally able to bridge the gap between head, heart, and sex and reconnect with myself at a deeper, more authentic level.

Since then it’s been all change. With my long-term relationship over, I enter the New Year as a singleton. You see, once you move into a more conscious and loving relationship with yourself, you realise that, actually, you deserve to be treated that way in all areas of your life. But it’s only once you care for and love yourself, warts and all, that you’ll finally believe you’re worthy of receiving love. But it has to start with you.

Bridge The Gap

And therein lies the challenge. Most people would much rather cling to the old, familiar, outworn structures in their lives (relationships, jobs, houses, addictive habits/behaviour etc) even if they’re boring, unsupportive, and damaging, rather than make a change – any change.

I believe, however, you’ve got to bridge the gap before you can even think about leaving the old thresholds behind. This may involve nurturing a compassionate relationship with yourself, creating an environment that honours your burgeoning self, or connecting with people who support and encourage you along the way. Not only does this ease the transition, but it also allows the old skin to fall away when it’s good and ready, rather than forcibly attempting to whip your mind and/or body into shape.

And so, over the coming weeks, as we move through winter into spring, I’ll share several areas from my own life where I’m consciously reconnecting with and taking care of myself. I’ll share self-care exercises to help you gently re-establish a conscious relationship with your body; indulgent recipes that celebrate the beauty and sheer pleasure of food; gorgeous natural/organic lotions and potions to nourish your skin; soulful/spiritual/meditative practices to help you reconnect with your deep Self; fair-trade and/or ethical products to beautify your living space; non-toxic cleaning products to keep everything spick and span; and, perhaps, my biggest mission of all – my search for a chemical-free organic mattress in which to dream big this year.   

Here’s to an abundant and fulfilling 2012.

Urban DevaFor more mind, body, and soul tips, follow Thea on Twitter @UrbanDeva

Visit the Urban Deva Facebook page facebook.com/urbandeva or website at urbandeva.com/blog

You can read about Thea’s life in her book, Running into Myself, available from Amazon.