Should Couples Sleep In Separate Beds?

SLEEP is the ultimate ‘me’ time. But for those sharing a bed with a partner, unintentionally bad sleeping etiquette can mean it begrudgingly becomes all about your other half.

If you’ve ever awoken to your partner happily cocooned in the 12 tog while you’re clinging on to a hankies-worth, you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about.

It’s for this reason some couples have taken to sleeping separately – one in four to be precise. That’s according to research undertaken by The Sleep Council, and if anyone knows a good night’s sleep it’s them.

Jessica Alexander from The Sleep Council said: “Unfortunately, over time, all sorts of practical issues can get in the way and – particularly among more mature couples whose children may have left home – the call of the spare bed becomes increasingly difficult to resist. The result is a growing number of couples sleeping in separate rooms and unfortunately that can be the beginning of the end for many marriages.”

Should couples sleep in separate beds?

But is it really that big of a deal?

Where snorers and those who like to sleep mimicking the shape of a star fish are concerned, separation can surely save your sanity, let alone your relationship. 

After all, this isn’t about sex, it’s about shut eye and the physiological importance of getting enough of it. While you may be completely and harmoniously compatible with your partner in all other aspects of life, sleep is the one time you’re not fully, if at all, in control of your actions.

Take sheet sharing for example. Your bed could be the size of an Olympic trampoline but unless you’ve opted for individual sleeping bags (which would be a bit weird let’s be honest) there’s always going to be a tug-o-war over the duvet at some point during the night. If you’ve ever awoken to your partner happily cocooned in the 12 tog while you’re clinging on to a hankies-worth, you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about. Then they wake up and deny it, of course.

Snoring is often another cause for separate beds and who can blame them (the victims that is)? From the snore that would easily win a sound clash with a pneumatic drill, to the featherweight breathy snore that could be considered cute if it wasn’t making you late for work every day, everyone has their own snore threshold.

Sleeping together hasn’t always been an issue mind. In fact, it used to be fun didn’t it....when it wasn’t every night. But the reality of a lifelong battle over body heat, space rationing, sleeping patterns and nocturnal noises can be too much to bear for even the most complete of couples. That’s not to throw the whole relationship into question then, but rather free yourself from the social stigma attached to sleeping separately surely?

All things considered, why do we even bother spending a third of our lives forcing ourselves to put up with another person’s sleeping habits? Can't we just sleep apart without falling apart? As Jessica from The Sleep Council quite rightly points out, for long spouses, it all comes down to a crazy little thing called love. Ahhhh.

"Sharing a bed is the ultimate intimacy” she said. “Research from America suggests that this intimacy helps to lower stress hormones and encourage feelings of safety and security.”

In addition evidence also suggests couples who sleep together not only stay together but stay healthier too. So next time the couch is calling out, perhaps try The Sleep Council’s top ten tips (below) to combat what they call ‘Separate Rooms Syndrome’.

A change might very well be as good as a rest where sleeping routines are concerned. Don’t even get me started on the issue of separate bathrooms though...

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