You got the power

Some of us seem to have oodles of the stuff, whereas most of us don’t feel that we have enough. Confidence - Is it the case you either got it or you ain’t?

Sometimes it always seems that everyone else is moving along, attaining their goals, except for you. It could be that your confidence has taken a battering and that’s what is stopping you from moving forward.

When you have confidence in yourself, you believe in your own ability. With little or no confidence, you believe that you won’t achieve anything and it’s not worth trying.

Everyone is born with a level of confidence. It’s that same confidence that as a baby helped you go from crawling to walking. Unfortunately, over the years, our levels of self-confidence can diminish due to negative influences - criticism by your parents, exclusion at school, competition between your friends and disappointment at work.

Imagine this scenario. Your boss is a very difficult person to work for. He is constantly negative and never has anything positive to say about your work. In fact, whenever he does say anything, it’s usually to find fault.

Working in an atmosphere like this, you might start to blame yourself. Eventually, you come to expect this reaction and become sensitive to the criticism. You’re hardly going to feel like taking on the world when someone is constantly putting you down.

The same thing applies if you’ve faced disappointment. There’s a chance of you getting promoted at work. You’ve started to imagine what the new job would be like - more money, extra responsibility and finally being recognised for all the hard work over the years. Then, the job is given to someone else. You feel completely deflated.

Both of these circumstances can lead to low levels of confidence or self-esteem.

To get over these obstacles, start doing small exercises which will increase your self-esteem.

Think, stand and walk confidently: That way everyone else will think that you are confident and have confidence in you and what you do.

Find a confident role model: Act how you think they would act. Don’t change your personality but imagine if your role model was in the same situation. What would they do differently?

Develop your willpower: Don’t feel put off if someone says no to one of your suggestions. Find out more about why they said no. It’s likely that you will be able to come up with an alternative or a compromise.

Take action: We’ve all got things which we have been putting off. The longer you leave something, the harder it gets to make a start. Just imagine how you will feel once you’ve completed the task.

Accept compliments: Next time you are congratulated on something - just say thank you. Take pleasure in the compliment and know that you deserve it.

To build your confidence you have to take many small steps. Each time you experience a small achievement, it is taking you in the direction of the more confident you.

It’s a vicious circle, but if you think and act confidently, people will have confidence in you and ultimately that will increase your level of confidence.

Jayne Williams
WM Coaching
Life Coaching & Stress Management
www.wmcoaching.com
07968 397406